Exercise: A Conversation
Just admit it, this isn’t such a weird concept. You know you have debates with yourself about things.
Me 1: Yo, know what actually sounds like a good idea?
Me 2: Mmm sour gummy worms and a cappuccino?
Me 1: No…
Me 2: Nutella hot chocolate with fluffy blankets and Netflix?
Me 1: No…
Me 2: Alcoholll.
Me 1: Calm down. Also, no.
Me 2: Ooh ooh I know! A nap!
Me 1: No… Exercising.
Me 2: Lolol I crack me up *goes back to le interwebz*
Me 1: No for reals.
Me 2: Wait…what? OH MY GOSH, I’M SICK, I’M DYING, CALL THE EXTERMINATOR I HAVE TO EXTERMINATE THESE IDEAS OUT OF ME WHAT THE HELL
Me 1: But think about it.
Me 2: NO I DON’T WANNA.
Me 1: But it feels so good when you’re like in shape or whatever like people are.
Me 2: I’m not out of shape.
Me 1: But I used to be better.
Me 2: Meh. No one seems to care.
Me 1: Since when do I care if people care? I care.
Me 2: Not if I don’t think about it.
Me 1: But it’s really not that bad: I turn on Netflix and lie on the floor and exercise while I watch TV. I’m not, like, running, or anything dumb like that. Besides, I accomplish way more in way less time now that I have those ankle/wrist weights.
Me 2: Wait why do I have exercise equipment?!?! Since when did that happen?!?!
Me 1: Since it was Valentine’s Day and I was single and walking around the empty Target alone while everyone else was out doing Valentine’s Day stuff.
Me 2: Oh…yeah…
Me 1: Remember what happened last time I consistently worked out? Hawt.
Me 2: Yeah that was two summers ago when I had no life. And I was consistently in pain from the workouts because working out sucks. And excuuuuuuse me but I’m still hawt. Probably.
Me 1: But now I’m in Adulthood and in Adulthood people work out.
Me 2: Whatever yo.
Me 1: Just do it, it doesn’t have to be for that long.
Me 2: Ughhhhhhhh
Me 1: Don’t be a wimp.
Me 2: Ughhhhhhhh…fine.
Me 1: Woohoo!
Me 2: Shut up and just start already.
36 hours later
Me 2: Told you so.