• Eileen Wittig

On Making It in Life

As someone who has only semi-made it in life, but observes (usually from afar) the people who have totally made it in life, I’ve realized that there are ways to tell whether or not you’ve made it yet. Hopefully you can check off more items than I currently can. I’ll laugh about it all some day. Probably.

You know you’ve made it in life when:

  • Your mom tells your siblings to be nice to you because you’re a “guest.”

  • You have published something.

  • You have been interviewed by a website, newspaper, or radio station that doesn’t have local stuff for the majority of its content.

  • Your bank has dark hardwood floors and ceilings, leather seating, a fireplace, a chandelier, et al.

  • You can buy something that looks good, but is unnecessary, at the grocery store without double-thinking it.

  • You can buy a new couch/mattress/footstool without transferring money from savings.

  • Your posters and pictures are all either framed, or stretched canvas.

  • You can go to the Cheesecake Factory while you’re out with friends without feeling guilty about the money.

  • You have a gym membership without feeling guilty about the money so you can go to the Cheesecake Factory without feeling guilty about the calories.

  • You don’t associate “Bills” with “This is how I die.”

  • You can actually buy the things you pin on Pinterest.

  • You can walk around Nordstrom without feeling like you’re soiling the ground.

  • You own a shiny car.

  • Your friends all own shiny cars.

  • You are identified as an “insert illustrious job title here” rather than as a “graduate of XXX College,” “young adult starting XXX,” etc.

  • You have paid off your student debt.

  • You have replaced your student debt with world-travel debt.

  • …which you then paid off 24 hours later when you regained Internet connection.

Subscribe for hot updates

Follow Me, I'm Hilarious:

  • Black Twitter Icon
  • Black Instagram Icon
  • Black Pinterest Icon

©2019 by Eileen Wittig. Proudly created with