On Being Hometown-less
Downtown Nashua, NH, where I grew up. Half my life ago.
Apparently you have to have a hometown in order to graduate from college. They need it “for the Commencement program.” Of all the things I’ve had to do to graduate, trying to figure out my hometown has been one of the most difficult. I’ve moved five times so far, and the longest I’ve ever been in one place is 8 years. That was ten years ago. Which is a lot when you’re only 21. I’m starting to lose my emotional connection to that city, so I don’t think I should use that one for my graduation. But I was only in Most Recent City for three months before I went back to college, so that one doesn’t really count either.
Therefore, since I don’t have a hometown, I have decided to just pick a cool-sounding city and go with that one. And who knows, maybe I’ll end up living there anyway. Staying within America, there are some better-known names: Troy, NY (because who can hear the word Troy and not think of badass people doing badass things?); Waco, TX (which, I’m told, is pronounced Wayco, but it’s funnier if you don’t know that); El Dorado, AR (because who wouldn’t want to live in a place named for a riches-filled utopia?); Walla Walla, WA (walla walla walla walla walla walla…); Gallup, NM (like the polls!); St. Augustine, FL (because he’s famous and a genius); Waterloo, IA (because of that one thing that happened with that one guy in the original town in Belgium), and North Pole, AK (because being from the North Pole would be legit. Although Wisconsin pretty much counts anyway, and I’ve already done that).
Then there are some other, lesser-known ones: Effingham, KS (because it pretty much describes the feelings of every senior in college right now); Nottingham, NH (because Robin Hood); Alliance, NE (which ironically is off by itself in the Nebraska panhandle); Corinth, MS (because of that really epic war); Woodstock, VT (the quaint New England Towne version of that memorable event which thankfully was before my time); Tomahawk, WI (because why wouldn’t I); Knights Landing, CA (so I can find one in shining armor); and, finally, Murder Bay, District of Columbia (fitting, isn’t it?).
Or I could go international. I mean, as long as I’m choosing a random city and going for the coolest one I can find, why restrict myself to America? I could be from Oxford, or Marseilles, or Monte Carlo, or the towns around Pompeii, or Easter Island, or Mt. Olympus, or Fa’a’a in Tahiti. I would be ok with any of those.
Or I could just put the city I spent the most time in. Half my life ago.